Something strange happened today.  I think I saw someone steal the Bob's Big Boy statue from in front of Whole Foods.  They put him on top of their car and quickly drove off.  That statue has been out there for ages.  I always wondered why it was there considering there are no Big Boys in Texas.
There have been a few oddities in these last couple of days.  Like yesterday, some older man drove up behind the store in this posh new Mercedes, and he tossed a Louis Vuitton bag and a Mont Blanc pen in box into the dumpster and then drove off.  The bag was full of makeup, shampoo, a razor, and makeup removal wipes.  The pen was sterling and 18kt gold.  Why throw that out?  Did he kill some woman with the pen?  Did she get the pen for another man and he found it?  Was he cheating on his wife with this woman and she left these things at his place?  So many possibilities...

Thanks for the gift you left, moron.  We'll be finding you.  Also, I hope you kill yourselves while trying to use my acupuncture needles.